Here they are folks. Our first batch of limericks. Thanks to Patricia for pulling this together.
There once was an old woman who wrote;
She kept all her words in a tote.
Her laptop, you see,
Was jammed A to Zee,
And just kept on getting her goat.
In my pocket, a flip-phone doth lurk
I don’t need it for communicating or work
it’s there to avoid strife
it’s there so my wife
Has a leash she can jerk
There once was a pretty tri-colored parrot
Who thought to swoop down on the garden for a carrot
Then the leafy bean plants and potatoes began to shake
The disbelieving parrot squawked, “For goodness sake!”
For there came a carrot thief in the form of a ferret.
An innocent man named LaCruz
Was one day away from the noose
A sweet, single female
Broke LaCruz out of jail
They mounted her horse and vamoosed.
There was an old woman from Red Deer
Who said, “I don’t know why I stay here”.
Her dog pressed his wet nose
‘gainst her big naked toes
“Ah, now I do know why I’m still here.”
There once was a man named Daryl
Who wore really wacky apparel
One day, just for fun
That old son of a gun
Went over the falls in a barrel.
Everyday I have a spat
with my durn ol’ pussy cat.
She scratches some;
I swat her bum.
It’s claw and broom–tit for tat.
My cat’s a dedicated birder
Never a mouse murderer.
She annoys the ….ell out of me
When she catches a chickadee
And I’m helpless to restrain ‘er.
You may think my kitty-cat’s mean,
but she’s not as bad as she seems.
When she’s hungry she scratches.
When she’s fed she relaxes
and curls up with her bird stalking dreams.
-Annette Gray (she thought it was one a day, very prolific!)